the land of range rovers and tanorexics…

Hey, it’s mlk day (rest in peace) and i’m heading off to short hills mall in jersey to pick up some stuff…wish me luck! as you may already know, that mall is hatewatchers central!!! the average self-esteem level of the women there is about -1.9 on a scale of zero to 10! Yikes.

I’m looking forward to receiving scathing looks from these sad women. Hmm, now that I think about it, how can you give off a true scathing look when your face is filled to the brim with Botox injections?!

8 comments January 21, 2008

b*tches be hatin’…

What the f*ck is HateWatchers? I’m sure you’re aware of Weight Watchers, the diet program/club that women join in droves to supplant their lack of self-esteem and/or self control in regards to food. HateWatchers (copyright pending, so don’t steal my ideas, hatahs!!!) is a term I thought of just last night. I was talking to my cuz Jenn from San Diego. She was filling me in on this b*tch at work that was hating on her.

I told Jenn to simply chill and pay attention to the words of Kat Williams, comedian extraordinaire, “Ladies, if you got 14 women hating on you, you need to figure out how the f*ck to get to 16 before the summer gets here!”

I suggested to her that she and I start “hatewatching” instead of dieting or complaining about men or some other inane activity. She was curious and wanted to know what hatewatching entailed. I explained that instead of trying to lose weight, we are trying to GAIN haters…i.e., we are HateWatching.

How do you gain haters? Just keeping doin’ you, girl. You look hot? Keep on being fly. You smart as hell? Keep on studying, reading and learning. You got nice tits? Keep them out and about. You got a phat a$$? Work those Baby Phat jeans. You got a promotion? Start working towards the next one. You bought a home? Start saving for your second one.

In other words, hatewatching isn’t looking for women that hate on you. Hatewatching is a state of mind. Keep being fabulous and your haters will be lining up. The more women hate on you, the better you are doing, trust me.

Good luck and may the hate be with you…

2 comments January 21, 2008